Real Fill-In Housewives of Charleston

I had breakfast at seven this morning. I got up at six, the earliest I have in two weeks, which I count as an accomplishment in my developing adult life. It consisted of greek yogurt with honey, mixed nuts and berries, granola, and cherries. I ate half of it and gave the rest to the two year old I’m babysitting. Have you caught on to the correlation between location and food quality?

I went through a phase where I ate organic maple-cured bacon for weeks. I’d scramble a few organic eggs with it, throw on a piece of organic cheddar cheese, and toast a piece of organic sourdough bread. If you want to know what kind of job pays enough to afford you this kind of diet, I have one word: babysitting. At first I thought it might be two words but isn’t it one? That’s right, not only do you not have to spend your hard-earned money on that fancy food, you don’t have to go out and buy it either. It’s right there in someone else’s refrigerator!

At times when I want to lament that I’m wasting my hard-earned degree and five years of college to change a two year old’s diaper and watch Curious George, I just thank God for the luck that landed me this career in the first place. And what a great career it is. (Have you noticed that all “jobs” have been switched to careers- it was most blatant to me when I went in a gas station the other day- “Start your career with Shell!” This morning I got up at six for work, showed up, did my taxes while Jake did his lawn-mowing (on the carpet), took him to a gigantic jump castle heaven for small children, dined at Chik-fil-A, and here I am, still working hard.

First things first. I am 24 and this was the first year I did my own taxes. Why did I have to pay to do them online? Is the form too complicated for a normal human to figure out, for free? Can I deduct tax software fees in my 2010 taxes? How do you know where you reside, if you have a license from one state and a job and apartment in another? And what if your job isn’t considered a “job”, because regardless of the title “semester missionary” or “student intern” it’s a glorified volunteer position? And glorified it is, because I’m enjoying talking about Jesus and hanging out with college students, without having to pay tuition or go to class. What if you lived in Korea for eight months of last year and your job address is seven lines long? And sounds like “Polytown b Dong 775 Ansan shi Gyeonggi Do”? These are all questions I didn’t feel quite got answered, and after entering my credit card information I can only hope things will turn out well. Never a dull moment, America.

Second things second. People treat you REALLY WELL when you’re carrying a small cute blond-haired blue-eyed child. They carry things for you and let you bump into them without being bothered. Also, small children nap much better when you take them out all day and help them climb things that are their equivalent of a four-story building. I knew it was over when I looked in my backseat and saw Jake slumped over, his polar bear book on the floor, and no amount of leg shaking would wake him up.