Independence!

Various images from 63 building (tallest building in Korea- with an aquarium, wax museum, and art gallery!)












$20: The price of a watermelon in Korea.
$13: The cost of a wallet-sized block of cheddar cheese.
$10: Roughly how much I spend for my cellphone each month.
$3: The cost for a 10-minute ride in a taxi.
15: The apartment floor on which I attended a 4th of July cookout today.
4: The number of cats who have been living the past 7 months of their lives in the glass window of the pet store.
1: The number of students who showed up Thursday night at our academy (apparently there's a big test they're studying for.)
0: The average jean size for Korean women.


HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! I went to TWO cookouts today. Both were inside and neither involved fireworks. I think it's appropriate that I miss- well, feel thankful for- my country. The other day in class, we were discussing time order words in the future for grammar. For example, After I break the window I will run away and hide. Before I run away and hide I will break the window. I had my students write a "dream schedule" of their Saturday. Some of my favorites had events such as:

6:30 am- wake up
7:00 am- eat pizza

or

10:00 am- wake up
10:30 am- shower
11:00 am- breakfast
12:00-7:00 pm- play with friend.

I'm sure I've told you about Viper, I guess it has to do with his age (11?) but he is all out of whack all the time. Either tired of hyperactive. Furiously taking notes or grunting "I HATE ENGLISH! I HATE STUDY!" (He is swiftly reprimanded by the other students for these belligerent comments, which I find hilarious and effective). As usual he didn't pay attention to directions and upon prowling the room when I came upon his schedule, I exclaimed, "VIPER? You're going to STUDY on your dream schedule?!?"
"YES. STUDY. ALWAYS STUDY," he angrily mumbled.
"But this is a dream schedule," I explained. "You write what you want to do on Saturday."
"WHAT? I want... PLAY GAME!"
And, 10 minutes too late, he started scratching out his former scratches with pencil and scratching something new over them. Erasers? Not for a kid like him.


I mentioned this because I'm about to tell you my dream schedule. For 2 months from now. Not in order though.

1. Go to the grocery store. Walk down every aisle. Touch every piece of produce (especially apples, pears, peaches, grapes, green beans, bagged salad, broccoli, and I don't remember what else exists but I'm sure I've blocked out a lot) and just thank God that it exists. Walk to the cheese section. Cry. Walk over to the meat section, and lay eyes on sausage and bacon. Cry. Walk to the macaroni and cheese section. Fall on my knees and shout "THANKYOU JESUS!" Walk over to the lunchmeat. Put it in my shopping cart. Approach the bread. Read every single word on the label of the Pepperidge Farm 12 grain bread (I remember the label, it's purple) just because I can.

IT'S DANGEROUS TO DREAM! I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD STOP RIGHT HERE, and protect my heart, BUT, I MUST GO ON!

2. Go hiking. Eat a leaf, because I can. Rub dirt all over my hands, because it's not riddled with diseases. Take my shoes off and walk in an ice cold creek. Take my shoes off for the rest of the hike. Find some grass and roll in it. Roll for about 15 minutes. Find a hill and roll down that, if I can.

3. When I make it to the beach, bury myself in the sand. Lay there for about 20 minutes (with sunblock on my face, of course) and listen to the waves and blind myself by looking up at the bright blue sky and smell the saltwater. Get sand all in my ears and in my hair and under my fingernails. Then get all that in my car.

4. OH MY GOSH MY CAR! DOES IT STILL EXIST? Will I come home and find that it has vaporized??? Drive my car. Turn on the radio, probably NPR, and listen to it. Listen to the radio in English. While I'm driving. Go to Sonic and get a big Slushie and drink that while I'm driving. Not by myself, of course. I don't care who joins. My mom, my sister, Meredith, whoever.

5. Pick up big fluffy 12 pound Moe in one arm and pot-bellied gray tabby alley cat Jalil in the other and bury my face in their fur until they either scratch me or each other.

6. Run circles in my yard. Climb a tree. Try to play fetch with my dog. (He's never quite been able to master that). Probably better to just sit on the picnic table on my bathing suit (the only redneck way to get a tan) and eat watermelon and throw the rinds in the woods in front of our house and watch Charlie run after them. That way he'll come back for more. Or he'll at least be watching, which is attentiveness, which is an element we strive for in the fetch game.

7. Sit across my Grandma at her kitchen table and just look at her. She can't remember much when we have conversations (you can talk about something for maybe a minute and then she starts forgetting), so just hang out. Watch the hummingbirds. (Will they be gone?) Show her a few pictures. Go for a walk in the yard.

8. Get a cellphone and call everybody I know on it. After 9 pm, of course.

I felt like I should do 10 but really I think that's enough. The other two can pop up randomly NINE! TEN! and you can try and remember.

Exotic stories from the East? Today our taxi driver insisted to Nicole (she speaks Korean) that she tell Jamie and I we were the most beautiful girls he's ever seen and we look like dolls. Hmm. Every time I go to use a public bathroom, if there's a toilet (50% of the time it's a porcelain hole in the floor) there's a cigarette in it, mysterious drops of something on the seat, a small trashcan filled with soiled toilet paper (can't we just flush it?) and sometimes a puddle of spit on the floor. The toilet covers in the movie theater have winking smiley faces. The other day I was about to cross the street when I saw a tiny white dog in a very frilly purple sweater sitting nervously on the corner. She was obviously distressed, and kept looking around and looking at me. I was looking around and looking at her, because she had no leash, but she obviously wasn't used to being out without accompaniment (her clothes were very fashionable) and no one was looking out of any windows for her. To preserve her pride I stayed a couple yards away and pretended I was waiting to cross the street. I waited for about 5 minutes. At one point I saw her pee her pants. Poor thing. Good thing she didn't have a skirt on with that ruffly sweater. It would have been ruined. Then a girl came running out of the pet shop, scolding in Korean, and scooped her up and brought her back in. WHEW! It is a ROUGH world out here!

There are no zoning laws. Last night, while having a diverting discussion about whether or not more men are becoming metro-sexual and is our society becoming feminized, we looked out the window and noted there was a math academy, massage parlor, and church all on the same floor on the building adjacent to the coffee shop we were sitting in. Every convenient store has a table outside with plastic chairs and you can buy beer/liquor/wine and sit out there and drink to your heart's content, watching a big screen TV attached to the store window. How is there not more crime in this country?

Tonight we saw two teenage girls fooling around on a bike, and nearly missed being ran over by four lanes of traffic. They were both trying to ride it on the edge of a turning lane. Giggling like this wasn't a life or death situation.

Yesterday we ate- oh I don't know what it is in Korean- but it's spicy chicken and rice and seaweed and cheese and red pepper sauce and cabbage cooked on a hot plate in the middle of your table. All the servers were boys. My friends got up to go to the bathroom, and I guess I looked clueless sitting there because one after another waiters came up and tried to help me out. In excellent English, pointed me over to the kimchi bar (ooh- free refills!) squirted dressing on my salad (mayo/ketchup on shredded cabbage), asked me where I was from, gave me a bib... and all that advice dawned on me from those dim-witted girl magazines. It's true. If you look clueless, you look approachable, and boys aren't afraid to talk to you. I was so shook up by the whole experience that my friends sat down and we all had only one chopstick at our place setting. I've been here for 10 months and I was unaware that any Korean guy my age could speak English. Silly me. I've always been in intimidating lioness packs, I guess. We had no less than 10 different guys come over and stir the chicken on our table. I got as far as reaching for the tongs once, but, never actually had to use them.

Have I mentioned that for the last week every time I eat, I feel sick, so even though I still eat a lot I'm eating less because I'm afraid to get sick? Is it the heat? It's weird. In the winter I couldn't stop eating, and lately, food worries me. Maybe because it's all really spicy and piping hot and it's as humid as Florida outside?

That's your update on Korea.

God has been teaching me two things lately. Or just two things have been put in my mind. That I've been thinking about.

1. In John 17, Jesus prays for us (all believers) and says, "....I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that You sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me." (vs. 23) So Jesus says that if the church is unified that the world will know God sent Him. Maybe I should stop biting my nails over the friends who don't know Jesus, and still pray for them, but commit myself to the church as well. It's a balance I'm sure but, personally, I lean way over on the friends side of things. Generally if I have to choose between friends and church, I'd choose friends. Choosing between staying up late with my friends on Saturday night or getting up early on Sunday to go to church and play music, I'd choose friends. Seeking out community or staying in my comfortable relationships with the people who live a few buildings down, I'd choose them.
But if I'm not committing myself to the church, I'm being disobedient, right? I totally haven't been. I go to a different church depending on what time I wake up. The one in Seoul starts at 4 pm, that one's way awesome, but I'm not connected there. I'm connected to the one in Ansan. It's called Dongsan. There's a woman from Nigeria who is having a baby soon. I didn't go to her baby shower because I don't really know her. But wait, she's my sister in Christ, so I should have gone, right? I have a friend I've met at church, we've only hung out once, but she was in the hospital last week, maybe with hepatitis A? Trust me, easy to get a disease carried by stool in this country. Between the water we drink, our students' hands, and the lack of soap in most public bathrooms... I visited her on Monday but haven't seen her since. It's been a week. I don't go out of my way to invest more of myself in the awkward conversations, often in broken English. I don't go out of my way to serve on the worship team. I often don't go out of my way to spend time with the woman's community group that meets every other Monday. To go I hop on a bus immediately after work, show up 2 hours late at this kind woman's apartment, scarf down all the scraps from the dinner they had, and then, hang out for an hour or so.
But to be obedient I think I'm going to have to go out of my way. To be obedient to the simplest of God's requests, to "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:3) I'm going to have to get up earlier than I want to, do things when I'm tired, have awkward conversations, give up time with my friends, and generally be uncomfortable.
In the past I was surrounded by commands to "tell people about Jesus." Why? Why am I going to tell people about Him? I think that's something I need to figure out first. Why am I going to tell people about a faith I have when my life is essentially the same as theirs? No sacrifices to my own comfort, my own independence, my own desires to spend money on traveling or whatever else I want... I think if the body of Christ (all of us who already share this faith) is healthy, well, the Bible says if it's healthy people will know something real is going on. I'm not in a healthy position in the body right now.
My pastor invited me to come on a retreat which takes place during my only remaining vacation time in Korea. Meagan and I were going to go to Busan (yeah, that's the beach) get a tan, eat good food, relax... the retreat is somewhere in a village in the south playing on a corn farm. It'd be awesome to see some grass, but, obviously one option is more appealing than the other. However, I passed up the last retreat to go to Busan. It poured rain all weekend. I felt a gentle reminder that I need to get my loyalties sorted out. I told him I'd go. Amy texted me last week and asked me to come sing at church. To do that I'd have to wake up 2 hours earlier than I normally do. On one of the only days I have to recuperate. Again, where are my loyalties? I volunteered. EEEEEEE.......... God is just reminding me that we have a responsibility to take care of and serve each other. "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." (Galatians 6:10)


2. Three friends and I are studying Revelation every Tuesday night. We rock scissors paper for who leads it every week. I led it last week and (after 20 minutes of feeling so ill after eating I thought I was going to die- but then- thanks Nicole for praying for me and magically- haha victory again!) we talked about Revelation 3. That chapter talks a lot about people who call themselves Christians but are "lukewarm", who act alive but are dead, who think they're rich and healthy but are really poor and pitiful and sick. Me, most of the time. So, we were thinking about what we needed to change.
The first things came to mind that always do in Bible studies. How to "be a better Christian?" Don't drink too much, stop gossiping, clean up your language, be nicer, buy more coffee for people we don't like, clean up better after ourselves, girls wear longer skirts, whatever.
Outward, petty actions that are generally brought on by guilt, often irritating to perform, and move our feelings of self-righteousness up a notch.
It occurred to me... that God doesn't care about that. He sees straight through it. Revelation 3:2 says, "I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God."
Apparently I can be spiritually dead with a fantastic reputation. I think we worry too much about the outside sometimes. God wants my heart. Excuse me what? How does one go about giving their heart to an invisible entity who reveals Himself through nature, other people, and a really thick book? What do I talk to Him about? My day? Then ask Him for stuff? Baby steps! The first thing He's put on my heart is to give the end of the day to Him. When I'm in relationships, I spend the end of my day mumbling nice things into the phone and giggling. When I was younger I spent a lot of nights laying beside my dad in the bed listening to him tell me weird stories about elementary school. Last year I spent the end of my day praying with Meredith. I think the time at the end of the day is the most intimate and precious time we have. Usually only one person gets it. And right now... dun dun dun....I can feel this tugging, "hey what's up you live alone, what are you doing on Facebook and reading that weird cat book Zach sent you (It's called Dewey, it's awesome, by the way), and recording videos of yourself playing songs into your webcam. Why don't you quit wasting time and spend it on something." True.

3. I didn't mention that there is a third point, but there is.
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18~ "Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Maybe you are in a place where you have a right to complain. I need to start slapping myself in the mouth because sometimes I end my sentences with "Korea sucks." THAT IS NOT OK! Unfortunately God has not given me a right to complain in any situation no matter how terrible it is. (It's not terrible here, sometimes I just act too much like a diva about cheese or not being able to show my shoulders in this oppressive heat (although it's totally cool to wear skirts that barely cover your bum- ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY?) or the perils of public transportation or the lack of nature.) I obviously can't control my feelings, I battle negativity when it rains or when awesome managers quit (sigh) or when my boss says and does crazy passive aggressive things but God says BE JOYFUL ALWAYS. GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.
Could that be any less applicable to every single believer on the planet? As Christians we will find ourselves in terrible situations- throwing our guts up, being hungry and eating curry/gochujang for every meal, battling gigantic mosquitoes, being in freakishly weird cultures and wearing strange uncomfortable clothes, giving ourselves away to people who don't want us, working in a job that leaves us feeling more like slaves than employees, watching people we love die or get sick and not having our prayers answered- and then worse stuff that I haven't experienced yet- like being beaten or imprisoned or deported. But Jesus has called us to be those fools who go to places no tourist would ever want to spend more than a few days in, to put down some roots there, do the weird stuff He tells us to, or sometimes just pray and feel like we're doing nothing at all. I have no right to complain about this country. I didn't get myself over here. I also didn't create myself, and I didn't save myself. I didn't give myself the joy I have, or plan what people I'd be with. Everything we go through is for our good and for God's glory. However weird or uncomfortable it is. Knowing that is really comforting.

TOOOO MUCH. Please pray for my friend Nicole, her back hurts all the time, and pray for my friend Paige, she got really sick and is on bed rest for a couple weeks, I guess just pray we'd all be healthy. The weather is doing weird stuff to everybody.

안영!