Would You Rather Be an Adult, or Just Act Like One?
If I'm not careful, this entire blog could soon be about Tom (Age eight, bowl cut, Harry Potter glasses, wears a bookbag on his head to distract me, and reads in a robot voice). Today we were checking homework, and the answer was ridiculously long. I was too busy making endangered animal worksheets to print out the answers and just give it to them to check, so we were reviewing about fifteen open-ended questions. I write it on the board for them so they can write a proper sentence. One question was ridiculously long, some kind of, "What animals did Dave blah-blah-blah save?"
I called on Tom and he answered. I wrote on the board. "14. He saved .... Ok, number 15. Ja-"
Suddenly Tom looked up and said, "NO."
"What?" I asked defensively.
"Write it," he demanded in his squeaky voice.
"Are you kidding me?" I retorted. "That's way too long. I am NOT writing all that."
"WE did!" he replied. "We wrote it yesterday!" And suddenly I had nine pairs of eyes staring at me accusingly.
"FINE. Read me the list of animals." And from around the classroom came voices, "Foxes, bears, chickens, eagles, ducks, gorillas, cats, manatees, and cows." Or something like that.
There are so many times that I don't even bother to contain my laughter. I love that my children are indignant about the fact that I won't DO their homework with them.
As the classes progress the kids get older. My 11 year olds were fascinated today to learn that Mexico city was built on a lake. It's ridiculous the kinds of things that amaze them. I can never predict it. I asked them if they would like to be Aztecs and farm among a gridwork of canals. Except for the whole human-sacrifice thing, I thought the cartoon in their textbook looked pretty appealing. "NO," they spit back, and explained that the canoes would make them seasick, the cloth was strang-E (pointing at the loincloths) and WHAT IF someone stole your vegetables in the middle of the night? It would be so easy to do! I told them how I grew up and helped plant a garden in my backyard. They were struggling to breathe they were so shocked. I think they were a bit jealous. Especially when I mentioned the strawberries.
My middle-schoolers are always cranky and exhausted because of this ridiculous test they're either studying for, taking, or recovering from. They stare at me like blind people and look down at their book when I ask them a question, in a silent power struggle for who can wait the longest. Who will break the silence? Will the teacher get frustrated and ask someone else? Or will I have to speak?? They sleep about five hours a night. It's entirely understandable. Tom (age 13, very loud, proud owner of three hedgehogs) asked me what kind of coffee I drank and then proceeded to explain to me there are people who feed cats coffee- "Cats drink coffee?" I asked. "No, EAT," he repeated- and the cats poo, and the people make coffee out of that. He even drew me a picture. Then I drew a picture for the girls who were clueless and their bored blurry-eyed zombie stares cracked into smiles. I said "I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT", but, he faithfully reminded me about every ten minutes for the next two hours. "DUNG COFFEE," he would blurt out while I was trying to explain present progressive. "NO," I said firmly. "Dung coffee," he would whisper as I was waiting on a student to answer a question. I talked to Kuna tonight and it turns out it's completely legitimate- people did it in Africa a long time ago and now they'll make it on occasion for a very expensive price, like most things that are disgusting. He also interrupted our story- "My Dad's Detective"- to tell me how a man was mauled in China by his two pet dogs. "Police came," Tom said, a bit too loud, "Found man- no neck, only bone. No eyes, no ears."
The older ones LOVE to interrupt and shock me with appalling facts. I learn so much while I'm teaching English. Yesterday my kids taught me Japanese. Of course they know Japanese.
In any case, I feel like an old lady because my backbone has been hurting for a week. Could it be the high heels every day? The rock-hard bed? Speaking of which, they sell heated mattress pads here, and we went to Kuna's house only to discover she had left hers on all day. No harm done! This weekend could be my first spa/massage. It's cheaper!
As Meagan would put it, I've been "chomping at the bit" lately (ahhh I love it when she says that in her brick-hard Minnesota accent). I've been wanting to do a million things in a million places and as a result of that I've felt frustrated. God is really keeping me sane-
"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." (Psalm 37: 5-7)
Last night I made banana pancakes and ate them in my bed and watched Gilmore Girls. SHAMELESS. In my defense, I made them from scratch, and I'm watching TV for the first time in my LIFE here in Korea- I've never had time for it before! I'll come back all brushed up on pop culture. Tonight Meagan, Kuna and I laid in her mattress-pad heated bed and looked up all of our favorite music to show each other. I am aware that there will likely be few times in my life like this again. I'm living like a college freshman, dressing cute like an adult, and getting paid for it. Also, I woke up this morning to the smell of syrup. The pancake remains were beside me on my dresser. Deceptive, yes, but enjoyable, also yes.
One more important detail- I taught my kids the game "Would you Rather" yesterday. I only play it with my best friends. You give two worst-case scenarios and are forced to choose one. The girls (14 and 16) thought of some really good stuff- "Would you rather be eaten alive by two eagles, or eaten alive by insects. Would you rather have no arms and no legs but friends, or arms and legs but no friends. Would you rather have blue skin, or red skin." Kelly insisted that we count down to three and yell out our answers at the same time. "Three, two, one, BLUE!" and then she would look at me with wide, shocked eyes like we were best friends for life because we want the same things. This is happening in English. And that's what I'm here for, right?
I called on Tom and he answered. I wrote on the board. "14. He saved .... Ok, number 15. Ja-"
Suddenly Tom looked up and said, "NO."
"What?" I asked defensively.
"Write it," he demanded in his squeaky voice.
"Are you kidding me?" I retorted. "That's way too long. I am NOT writing all that."
"WE did!" he replied. "We wrote it yesterday!" And suddenly I had nine pairs of eyes staring at me accusingly.
"FINE. Read me the list of animals." And from around the classroom came voices, "Foxes, bears, chickens, eagles, ducks, gorillas, cats, manatees, and cows." Or something like that.
There are so many times that I don't even bother to contain my laughter. I love that my children are indignant about the fact that I won't DO their homework with them.
As the classes progress the kids get older. My 11 year olds were fascinated today to learn that Mexico city was built on a lake. It's ridiculous the kinds of things that amaze them. I can never predict it. I asked them if they would like to be Aztecs and farm among a gridwork of canals. Except for the whole human-sacrifice thing, I thought the cartoon in their textbook looked pretty appealing. "NO," they spit back, and explained that the canoes would make them seasick, the cloth was strang-E (pointing at the loincloths) and WHAT IF someone stole your vegetables in the middle of the night? It would be so easy to do! I told them how I grew up and helped plant a garden in my backyard. They were struggling to breathe they were so shocked. I think they were a bit jealous. Especially when I mentioned the strawberries.
My middle-schoolers are always cranky and exhausted because of this ridiculous test they're either studying for, taking, or recovering from. They stare at me like blind people and look down at their book when I ask them a question, in a silent power struggle for who can wait the longest. Who will break the silence? Will the teacher get frustrated and ask someone else? Or will I have to speak?? They sleep about five hours a night. It's entirely understandable. Tom (age 13, very loud, proud owner of three hedgehogs) asked me what kind of coffee I drank and then proceeded to explain to me there are people who feed cats coffee- "Cats drink coffee?" I asked. "No, EAT," he repeated- and the cats poo, and the people make coffee out of that. He even drew me a picture. Then I drew a picture for the girls who were clueless and their bored blurry-eyed zombie stares cracked into smiles. I said "I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT", but, he faithfully reminded me about every ten minutes for the next two hours. "DUNG COFFEE," he would blurt out while I was trying to explain present progressive. "NO," I said firmly. "Dung coffee," he would whisper as I was waiting on a student to answer a question. I talked to Kuna tonight and it turns out it's completely legitimate- people did it in Africa a long time ago and now they'll make it on occasion for a very expensive price, like most things that are disgusting. He also interrupted our story- "My Dad's Detective"- to tell me how a man was mauled in China by his two pet dogs. "Police came," Tom said, a bit too loud, "Found man- no neck, only bone. No eyes, no ears."
The older ones LOVE to interrupt and shock me with appalling facts. I learn so much while I'm teaching English. Yesterday my kids taught me Japanese. Of course they know Japanese.
In any case, I feel like an old lady because my backbone has been hurting for a week. Could it be the high heels every day? The rock-hard bed? Speaking of which, they sell heated mattress pads here, and we went to Kuna's house only to discover she had left hers on all day. No harm done! This weekend could be my first spa/massage. It's cheaper!
As Meagan would put it, I've been "chomping at the bit" lately (ahhh I love it when she says that in her brick-hard Minnesota accent). I've been wanting to do a million things in a million places and as a result of that I've felt frustrated. God is really keeping me sane-
"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." (Psalm 37: 5-7)
Last night I made banana pancakes and ate them in my bed and watched Gilmore Girls. SHAMELESS. In my defense, I made them from scratch, and I'm watching TV for the first time in my LIFE here in Korea- I've never had time for it before! I'll come back all brushed up on pop culture. Tonight Meagan, Kuna and I laid in her mattress-pad heated bed and looked up all of our favorite music to show each other. I am aware that there will likely be few times in my life like this again. I'm living like a college freshman, dressing cute like an adult, and getting paid for it. Also, I woke up this morning to the smell of syrup. The pancake remains were beside me on my dresser. Deceptive, yes, but enjoyable, also yes.
One more important detail- I taught my kids the game "Would you Rather" yesterday. I only play it with my best friends. You give two worst-case scenarios and are forced to choose one. The girls (14 and 16) thought of some really good stuff- "Would you rather be eaten alive by two eagles, or eaten alive by insects. Would you rather have no arms and no legs but friends, or arms and legs but no friends. Would you rather have blue skin, or red skin." Kelly insisted that we count down to three and yell out our answers at the same time. "Three, two, one, BLUE!" and then she would look at me with wide, shocked eyes like we were best friends for life because we want the same things. This is happening in English. And that's what I'm here for, right?
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