BANANAS

I would like to SPEAK UP and let the world know i am ALIVE.

but barely. in fact, i am too alive to use proper capitalization. i meant to say, i am too not alive to use proper capitalization.

some things one doesn't anticipate when moving across the country to teach highschoolers in the ghetto:

1. you will have to fight for your paycheck
2. you won't get paid for a month
3. when you do get paid, the state you are living in will be the only one where your bank doesn't EXIST. all that money, nowhere to put it.
4. some of the children in your ESL class will be native english speakers
5. most of the children in your classes will be wrongly placed
6. it will be around 110 degrees every day, but you will lose your tan, because it is ILLEGAL to swim in the nearby lake
7. you will wake up at 5:45 every day
8. all you desire is some pizza bites and a book, in your bed
9. WHO is in your class will change DAILY
10. you will make unsuccessful parent phone calls in spanish.
11. when you give up and have a spanish speaker make a parent phone call, you are berated by the office for having someone else call a native american parent who speaks english.

today, in my car, zooming to the district office to get the check i've been waiting for for a month, i was crazily mumbling under my breath- "this is bananas. b-an-an-as."

"30 is the magic number right now. every hour, top of the hour, i do 30 push-ups. when i leave the house, and come back, 30 push-ups. when i leave, 30 push-ups. WHY NOT? I LIVE IN OKLAHOMA! THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO! why be fat, when i could be strong?!?"
- those are jonathan's words of widom. thankyou.

"i'm a bodybuilder. i like to build out."
- same person

he's not lying. that's number 11.

11. you might just gain weight. you are, after all, living in the obesity capital of america.

I'M OUT!